“Mommy I want a talking story tonight,” says Katherine.  “Talking story” means “tell me a story”, and must always begin “There once was a Princess named Katherine”.  From there, my feeble imagination must take over, and since I’m a feminist of sorts (e.g., never shall any Bratz dolls enter my home), I try to create stories in which Princess Katherine not only wears beautiful jewelry and fancy dresses, but she wears them while learning to sail, or building a house, or running a race, or becoming CEO of a multi-national conglomerate and revamping their HR policies to include paid maternity leave and free childcare centers on site.  Or something.

 

So.  Anyway.  It was Talking Story time last night, and usually she lays there quietly, thumb tucked in mouth and eyes wide open staring at me, patiently listening as I fumble around trying to come up with something marginally creative (and not too painfully didactic).  This time, however, I started with the usual “There once was a Princess named Katherine” and she immediately interrupted me:

 

“And she had big girl underpants!”  - said in a gleeful manner.

 

“Yes, OK.  And one day Princess Katherine - ”

 

“She had BIG GIRL UNDERPANTS, MOMMY!”  Apparently, a key plot point in need of reiteration by me.

 

“Right, she had big girl underpants – “

 

“Her underpants go over her BAGINA!”

 

“Yes, indeed.  So Princess Katherine, wearing her big girl underpants, wanted to go on an adventure - ”

 

Now I receive a look of derision and frustration:  “No she didn’t!  She wanted her dessert, and put her plate in the sink, and then she wanted to find her blankie, and she wanted to PEE in the POTTY ALL BY HERSELF, and then wipe her BAGINA with toilet  paper and flush the toilet and wash her hands and see a My Little Pony movie on the TV and ….”

 

This went on for about 5 minutes and I’ve forgotten most of it (must start carrying around portable tape recorder), but it did somehow wind its way back to the key element:

 

“… and she had on her BIG GIRL UNDERPANTS!  Because she PEES IN THE POTTY!”  By this time, she was practically shouting.  She then sighed, and said somewhat reluctantly, “OK I’m done Mommy, now I need to go.”

 

“Yeah, um, ok honey, goodnight-“

 

“MOMMY!!! I need to go!!!!!”

 

As in, to the potty.