Back in the stone age of cellular
technology, cell phones were as big as a brick and almost as heavy. I remember
seeing people using them only occasionally, usually yelling into them because there was so little technology supporting them
and they could hardly be heard. These people invariably looked either slightly
embarrassed when using them, or massively self-important to have such a remarkable thing – a portable, wireless phone! See, I’m a cutting-edge BIG SHOT!
Then came the era of the smaller,
less obvious cell phone. Not yet ubiquitous, it was very confusing to me to see
people walking down the street, yelling into their hands. In NYC, one usually
assumes that such a person has lost their mind, regardless of their Calvin Klein suit.
Now, of course, the rotten things
are everywhere. Even worse, they now fit into your ear, so it’s harder still to tell the crazy people talking to themselves
from those simply on a call. Many have ranted about how obnoxious people can
be, thinking that they absolutely must be on the phone all the time – in the theater, on the subway, during a meeting,
while having open-heart surgery, etc. Most of us cell detractors have reluctantly
accepted this part of our brave new world – not me, however. I hate the damn
things. But such is life these days.
But I ask you, when did it become
de rigeur to talk on a cell phone while you are IN A STALL in a PUBLIC BATHROOM? What is so damn important that you have to make a call while sitting on the toilet? I don’t want to pee while the person in the stall next to me is yelling at their spouse
about paying to much for airline tickets, or making dinner plans (Ew! You are
on the TOILET!), or just chatting away – “Hi!” (pause) “Nah, I’m not doing anything, just thought I’d touch base” – a sample
of a real conversations I had the displeasure of hearing in a public bathroom.
The first time it happened,
I felt uncomfortable flushing, like it was rude or might embarrass the moron in the stall chatting away – give away their
position, so to speak. Then I thought better of it – just flush, it’s not my
problem that they choose to be so gross.
Now when it happens, I flush TWICE.
Signed,
Grumpy McLuddite
PS: I know a million people have blogged the same issue, and I don’t care.
So there. Fffffft.